You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
