What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
