At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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