i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
