Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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