I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
try to milk me bitch
Randomize