Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
im six kinds of drunk right now
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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