So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
