When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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