Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize