There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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