dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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