i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
