Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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