My brain says no but my pants say off.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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