do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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