Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize