i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
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I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
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Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize