Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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