I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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