We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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