I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
