Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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