So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
