hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
