YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
