I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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