Already got asked if we're dating
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
