when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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