im having a threesome with these popsicles
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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