I think scott just propositioned me for sex
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
