My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
