You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
