I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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