There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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