Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
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I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
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So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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