um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
