Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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