she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
