I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
