Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
