So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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