Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Never let your siblings swipe right.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
