there were more penises there than on chat roulette
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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