remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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