my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
