So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
