saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize