had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
