Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
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I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
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I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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