I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
