I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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