After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
