Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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