The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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