I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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