Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
