That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
