my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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