We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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