YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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