so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
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let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
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Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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