I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
